It's been months since I've blog.
I've decided to resume writing from today onwards..

Well, as far as I could remember that my first ever post on this blog was to keep my life entry here in blogger on a regular basis.

So far, I've not even reach 50 posts. How saddening. lols.
Anyway.. I guess I will be back for sometime now..
Not even sure whether there are still anybody out there reading. hahas..

Anyway..
That's all for a start I guess.

Today's 1st August 08.
Only thing worth happy about is my sist's offering a big treat later at this noon at a
restuarant.

Today's her birthday anyway.. I guess this is a good short chance for me to take my mind off yesterday's matter..

Frankly speaking about myself.
I think I only half know myself..

(Alright this is getting emo..)

Anyway I got no one to talk to..So I guess I'll just spill my thoughts out here.. Hopefully the right people could understand me.

I admit I'm a hot-tempered person. Those who knew me well clearly knows that.
I knew that myself too, that's the point I guess.

It's not easy to make some 1 to change completely into someone else.
For my case, I know you've told me a umpteen times that you hate being scolded and shouted at..

I've been giving in to you too..It's not that I've not do anything bout it.
The fact is I did.
I really put in a lot...Trying to change..
I'd been trying all these months since I'm with you..

However I've realized..Hot tempered isn't really a bad habit of mine.
It's the truth side of me.

It's really tough to overcome this emotional side of me..

You did stuffs that could get me angry with but at a corner u demand that I shouldnot get angry about it..However, if I put it this way..

Like when I give u a punch in the face accidentally, you know that I did not did that on purpose, but you still cried even when I told you to stop it..
It's a bit of a problem there right?

How can I stop u from reacting from something on your emotions..?

For incident such as yesterday..
It happened too quick.
But I didn't spark off intentionally..
If u did nothing wrong I won't react like that didn't I.

I did apologise and tried to forgive and forget bout the matter..
However, you're still reluctant to let it go.
What could I do about it..

Why has it gotta end like this everytime.
Why can't we just shake and then everything's over.

You know your fault I knew mine and that's it already.. No more argues..
But why..
I just don't know why..

Anyway..U always told me that I can comment on you, could say you.
But cannot get angry with you..
(My god..)

If I weren't angry because of you.Why will comment on you out of no reason..
Emotions for me is hard to control.

It's a deadly thing to be controlled and surpressed..
I'm a very emotional person..It seems that u doesn't know me that well after all...
If I just follow what you want and hide my anger inside for your own sake..

I got this terrible feeling inside of me which builds up as times goes by..

I just wanna ask u..
Have u ever consider my feelings ?

Everything u do, every word you says. I've always bear in mind..
I did sometimes tell you I dun like certain things u did, but i didn't force u to change them all.
That's cause I just want u to be u.

If u can't take any of my emotions..
I'm sorry.
My strengths are limited..
This nearly 1 year close contact made me lose my old form..
I've been putting effort in the r/s .

However..
All I get were more complains and expectation from you.
All because of my anger emotion.
I'm not a barbarian, I reason out things.

I can tell what is right and what is wrong..
Whenever I tried to explain..
U always could still find faults in me.
And anger is always your main fault u see in me.

You dun like to be shouted at and scolded at.
Like wise..
Do u think I like to shout and scold people?

Sometimes I feel that your world is quite narrow..
You could only see yourself sometimes.
That I could understand because I know you situation..

Sometimes.. I just hope dear could put yourself in my shoes and think..
Why am i angry ?
What's there to be angry about..

I'm not mad..
I don't get mad that often actually.
In fact. It's quite hard to piss me off seriously..

I've devoted all my time and thoughts for you..
That's because u mentioned forever.
Me too..
trusted that belief.

However, no matter what I do..it seems that it doesn't work out smoothly..

Maybe it's because we've argued so much too often..
You tend to get paranoid easily..

Sometimes I just want give u some advise..
U will just simply misuunderstood as me making remarks on u again..haish...

U knew my family background..
Sometimes I've the tendency to talk louder than usual.
That doesn't mean I'm mad.
That's my way of expressing..

I just feel like taking a break ,like a holiday or something..
I could feel that my body and mind are both exhausted..

Studies didn't go well..
Friendships come and go..
R/S same old probs..

I love to sleep..
That's the main reason why...